“I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers.”

For a bit of context, look here and here:


“We have put these corporate policies in place to maximise profits. It’s why overbooking our flights is a good thing. Sure, we make people angry and disrupt their lives in ways we don’t give a rat’s posterior about and force our underpaid personnel to deal with the emotional fallout, but we can hide behind airport police and policies and call them security threats. As long as we ensure that OUR people take precedence over paying customers and normal average human decency, I mean, what could go wrong? Have you seen the projections for our third quarter? It’s not likely that a video of police manhandling an unconscious doctor twice their age is going to go viral. Now, excuse me while I check my news feeds.”

Or alternatively

“You. PR-person… Don’t look so uncomfortable, its just bit of head trauma and blood. Now look, I need a word that makes it sound like we are doing extra hard work to make our passengers comfortable, gets some goodwill from the sheeple and gets them to ignore our terrible business practices that dehumanise and reduce a human being to a number in an Excel sheet. ‘Re-accommodate’ you say… I like it. Tastes a bit like iron and obfuscation. Also, could we somehow make this the passenger’s fault? As if somebody, who has plans and appointments and patients, is somehow not allowed to question or reject an offer that royally fucks with his life and is completely unreasonable. Nevermind, I’ll write that one myself.“


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